Lovely
by chocolatestrawberry
Summary: She messed up, he took something important from her. She's confused and Nathan hides his feelings. How can Haley handle the one night that changed her whole life. AU NH
1. Perfect

Chapter one

Lovely. The one word that would never describe her. She stared at her reflection in the mirror. No, lovely was something that Haley James wasn't and it was something that she never had been.

_Beautiful, Gorgeous, Breathtaking_. Those were words that had always described her. Even now, as she stared at her dirt covered, tear-streaked face in the mirror she couldn't deny her good looks.

Yet, sometimes she wished that she could just be lovely, just a little pretty, not even that noticeable. Sometimes she wished that she wasn't the popular cheerleader that everyone knew her as. She wished that she could be more discreet. Because discreet people never had reputations, they never had the chance to form a reputation, because no one cared.

Haley James. Co-Captain of the Ravens Cheerleading Squad. Beautiful. Smart. Cheerful, always cheerful. Popular. Innocent.

Innocent...the word echoed in her head and she closed her eyes tightly to shut it out. _Get out,_ she begged,_ get out of my head...it was just a stupid mistake_...

People like Haley James never made mistakes. But somehow...she managed to wipe away her image faster then her mind could catch up with her body.

Of course, nobody knew yet. But they would, she was sure they would, he never knew how to keep his mouth shut.

She looked at her reflection and choked on a dry sob. She wouldn't cry, couldn't cry, there was nothing left. She was dry as a desert and it was all because of him.

He took her control, he took the only thing that she had control over. And she couldn't get it back.

She hadn't meant for it to happen, she didn't even see it coming. But it somehow swallowed her whole, all her protests were at the tip of her tongue but she didn't get the out. And then everything in her head stopped. It just stopped. She didn't think. She didn't decipher. She didn't even question what they were doing...because it felt right._ It felt right_.

That didn't matter anymore though, because now, it felt wrong.

And now, here she was staring at her self in the mirror wishing that she had stayed home tonight. Her hair, a light auburn with subtle gold streaks in it, was wavy from being tousled around, it was down and although she pushed it behind her ears, pieces slipped out and covered places around her face. Her waterproof mascara was smudged underneath her eyes; she stood wearing her new bathing suit and a towel that she hugged tightly.

All she could think about was him. Just the image of him in her head gave her the shivers. They didn't even like each other. Yet, he took the most important thing from her.

Nathan Scott. Star basket ball player. Intense blue eyes. Crooked smile. Hot. Popular. Ladies man. Cocky. Arrogant.

They never had really gotten along. Yeah, they hung out together, but only because of their friends. Usually when Nathan and Haley were together they fought. And out of their gang, of 7 people, Nathan was the one that Haley never really knew, never really talked to, never really liked.

That afternoon the gang planned to all meet at Nathan's house to swim in his huge pool and hang out. They did it all the time, his parents were never home and he had the coolest house. So that's where the met.

But today, Peyton couldn't go, she had a strip due to the paper. Brooke and Lucas had already made plans to hang out so they couldn't go over either. Jake had Jenny, that was understandable. But even Tim didn't show up.

So it was only Haley. She got there in the late afternoon and Nathan was already in the pool. He explained that everyone else couldn't come, that if she wanted to leave then she could.

_She thought that maybe she'd just go for a short swim_

. So she stood there in front of him, completely aware of his eyes and took of her shirt, she then wiggled out of her denim skirt and stood wearing her new Blue and pink bathing suit from Victoria's Secret. He said he liked it. She thanked him.

She stepped in the pool slowly. Then swam over to Nathan. They didn't really talk. Some short casual words were passed. Nothing major.

Then he grabbed her hand and pulled her under water. She surfaced and gave him a small smile. He smirked.

There eyes locked. Haley felt a funny feeling wash over her body and tried to shake it off. She disappeared under the water again and swam to the edge of the pool and climbed out. He followed her.

_He was going to go up in his room and listen to music or something, did she want to come?_

_Yeah, but she was only going to stay for a short time more._

Nathan knew Haley. Just like the rest of the school knew Haley. She was the gorgeous virgin cheerleader. Always happy, open-minded and cheerful. Everyone knew that she was a virgin, she probably was the only one left on the squad. Still, despite all of the guys that wanted her, she didn't really date much. She wasn't a party girl, and she didn't like to drink much. She was just, beautiful down to earth Haley.

So, she followed him up into his room. He shut the door behind him and then walked over and put on a CD. He put on jet, they were his favorite band this week.

He turned around and stared at her. She was just standing there, standing there in a small bikini and a towel. He started to walk over to her. She didn't move, just stayed where she was.

In the next moment she found herself pushed up against the wall with Nathan's mouth hot on hers. She couldn't even react. It was so quick. It was so hot. And she liked it.

She wound her arms around his head and pulled him closer. His tongue fought with hears in a battle that neither of them could lose. Her fingers fisted in his damp hair and she felt the towel that was tightly around her whip across the room. What was he doing to her?

Her head banged against the wall as he forced it back to get better access to her mouth. His hands slipped from the wall around her to her waist and then up to her chest. He heard her moan and his sanity was gone. He wound one arm around her lower waist to pull her closer and with the other hand he un-did her top. It flew across the room and neither noticed where it landed. He ran his lips down her neck and her nails dug into his back.

_God._

He gripped her thigh tightly and she gasped at how he made her feel. She completely lost control. Then she found herself underneath him on his bed and her mind completely shut off. She didn't tell him to stop, she couldn't find the words and part of her didn't want to. She didn't tell him to slow down, or take a break, even when it hurt and she writhed backwards only to find herself up against the head board.

Her mistake. She then lay staring horrified at the ceiling. He was just laying there, not saying a word. _This wasn't how it was suppose to be, it wasn't suppose to happen like this_. She sat up and searched for her bathing suit. She put it on and then grabbed the towel off of the doorknob, and she ran out. He didn't even say anything.

_He didn't say on damn word about it._

She ran home crying and tripped over a stick only to land in a patch of mud. She caught herself with her hands before she hurled her whole body into the puddle and then stood up. She was crying harder now. She reached up to wipe her rapid tears only to get mud on her face. Then she stopped. In the middle of her front yard, she stopped and sat down. She curled up into a ball and cried. That wasn't how it was suppose to be.

Somehow, when she had cried all of her tears out, she managed to get up and walk into her house. It was empty, like always and she walked into the bathroom to look at herself.

Haley James messed up and on Monday, he would tell everyone.


	2. Lost

Chapter 2   
  
It's weird how you think you know what your doing, your absolutely convinced that you know what your doing, what you'll do, how you'll do it...and then... It's like life has different idea for you. That it just laughs in your face and throws you the curve ball that you never expected. It only proves that you can't plan what's going to happen next. But, what did she ever do? Haley wondered with frustration. What could she have possibly done to have deserved this? She was the good girl, the happy, innocent cheerleader.   
  
I know, I know, virginal cheerleader is like some sort-of oxymoron or something, but not to Haley, she didn't want to be like the other girls. She wanted do what she believed in, she wanted to stand up and not be forced into something that she wasn't ready for.   
  
_Too bad for her that Nathan didn't care what she was ready for._ Haley threw her pillow off of her bed and it hit the wall. She groaned in frustration, _it wasn't Nathan's fault, they were her goddamn hormones too.   
_  
_Whatever happened to control Haley?_ She asked herself again and again._Before last night you seemed to have a lot more of it.   
_  
After her 4 hours of standing in the mirror staring at her 'oh so vain' self...not, she stripped down and took a hot shower. She climbed into bed and closed her eyes. She tried not to think, tried to not to picture his face in her mind, his chest, his eyes.   
  
Why was it that on those night when you just want to stop thinking, you want to let it go and have some peace and you know your completely exhausted and couldn't get out of bed to save the life of you...You never could fall asleep? But then on those nights when you just want to stay up later, you wanna reminisce about your day and go over the highlights...You always drift into a dream and miss the best parts?   
  
Egh, she could still smell him on her. Haley threw off the covers and walked back into the bathroom. She splashed cold water on her face and looked at her reflection once more.   
  
No one would even be able to tell, She concluded and dried her face off. She looked like she had before, perfect complexion, big brown eyes, perfectly shaped eyebrows. To anyone she would look the same. But, still, she would know. She would always know. And if she thought that she could get away with hiding it, then she was wrong, because Nathan was also in on her little secret and she bet he couldn't wait to brag to the guys.   
  
_He took Haley James's Virginity and he wasn't going to give it back.   
_  
So she crawled back in bed and willed herself to fall into a reckless sleep.   
  
Haley woke up disoriented and groaned. _It's Sunday Haley, go back to sleep._   
  
Sunday.   
  
Haley sprung up and ran out of her room. Maybe she had imagined it all, maybe it was some sort of sick joke that ended up just being a nightmare. She opened the front door and picked up the paper that sat on the doorstep.   
  
_Sunday, October 25th._   
  
_Damnit._   
  
Haley threw the paper back out onto the front lawn and slammed the door._ Okay, so Saturday really did happen.   
  
_She sat down at the kitchen table put her head in her hands. _Okay, Haley, I give up. It happened, get the fuck over it.   
_  
She nearly swore at herself, it couldn't have been normal to have heated arguments with yourself in your head could it? Oh, why the hell not?   
  
Her phone rang and she jumped in surprise. She stared at the echoing phone that hung on the wall and groaned. Whoever it was, she was sure that she didn't want to talk to them.   
  
"Hello?" She answered.   
  
"You sound like shit, rough night?" The voice on the other end laughed and Haley narrowed her eyes although no one could see her.   
  
"What, Brooke?" She hissed and Brooke laughed.  
  
"Grumpy Haley's mean," Brooke told her and she rolled her eyes.   
  
"It's Sunday morning. Crackhead Brooke should be sleeping, just like grumpy Haley," Haley said sweetly.   
  
"Well, crackhead Brooke is awake and she's going shopping." Brooke paused and waited for Haley to say something. "Don't you wanna come?" Brooke asked at last and Haley sighed.   
  
"No."   
  
Brooke gasped. "I know Grumpy Haley isn't happy but...seriously Haley, are you sick? Should I come over there? Your not alone over there are you?"   
  
"No, I'm not sick. No, you shouldn't come over and yes, I'm alone over here. I just don't feel like going shopping."   
  
"You don't feel like it?" Brooke asked, her voice shaky. "Is this some kind of sick joke Haley, you know that I don't like when you play with my head."   
  
"Brooke, calm your hormones, I just want to relax okay?"   
  
"Why? Long night?" Brooke joked. "What did you do yesterday anyways?" She asked changing subjects. "Did you go over Nathan's? Did Peyton go, because she told me that she couldn't hang out with me because she had a strip, if she lied then--"   
  
"No, Brooke." Haley cut her off. "Peyton didn't go, she did have a strip to do."   
  
"Oh," Brooke was quiet for a minute. "It was just you and Nathan?"   
  
Yes, Haley thought, _just me, Nathan and our overly active sex drives_.   
  
"Yeah, we thought Tim might show but, I guess his grandmother is in town or something."   
  
"Haley, that means that Tim was out getting some ass," Brooke told her smartly and Haley frown.   
  
"What?"   
  
"Yeah, that's Nathan and Tim's code phase."   
  
"They have a code phase?"   
  
"Yeah, they're like wingmans or something."   
  
"Wingmans?" Haley asked and laughed. "Whatever, I'll never understand those two."  
  
"So, what did 'just Haley and Nathan' do all by themselves?"   
  
"Oh, um, you know, swam..." Haley hated lying to one of her best friends, but what else was she suppose to say?   
  
"I bet you guys fought a lot," Brooke said outloud and Haley raised an eyebrow over the phone. _If that's what she'd call it.   
_  
"I guess..."   
  
"You two never got along, your to pure for him Haley," Brooke joked but Haley choked on her own spit. She coughed loudly a few times but then regained her sanity.   
  
"Uh, are you sure your all right, your not coming down with anything are you?"   
  
"No, Brooke."   
  
"Okay, so, on to more important things...you really don't want to go shopping?"  
  
"No, I really don't"   
  
She heard Brooke's exaggerated sigh over the phone and smiled.   
  
"Okay, see you tomorrow then."   
  
"Yeah, tomorrow," Haley agreed and was about to hang up.  
  
"Don't you get sick on me little girl!" Brooke scowled and Haley warmed inside, someone cared.   
  
"I won't, bye Brooke." She put the phone back and climbed onto the couch in the living room. Snuggling underneath a blanket, Haley fell asleep.


End file.
